Farva's Final Say On: The Truth

So, my buddies (Let's just call them, Thomas, Antonio, Kenneth, Connor, and Anthony) recently made up their own religion. This would be weird if it wasn't for what it's based on. It's based on Chuck Norris Facts. Yes, their religion is Chucknorrisology. They treat Chuck like a god. So, in Homage, I've decided to list some "facts" and more Chuck fun.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

And if that wasn't your Chuck Norris fill:


For all you SNL fans, the singer is Jason Sudeikis, Norris is played by Andy Samberg, the purse snatcher is Fred Armisen, he steals it from Amy Poehler, the shooter is Bill Hader, and he's aiming at Jorma Taccone.

Do you practice Chucknorrisology? Do you love him? Are my friends crazy? Comment!